Embracing Life's Layers: From Fear to Freedom

Jan 12, 2024

Today, I've been contemplating the profound impact of fear on our lives. There are two distinct types of fear that have become apparent to me: one serves as an essential alarm, notifying us of real danger, prompting our entire being to ensure our safety. The other kind of fear, however, is a much lonelier struggle – it's the fear that we don't matter. It's a distressing isolation, where we feel utterly alone, sometimes even convincing ourselves that we are insignificant in the eyes of the world, believing that nobody has ever experienced this pain before.

This particular fear can manifest as feelings of abandonment, rejection, or not measuring up to others' expectations. Have you ever been ridiculed or belittled? Perhaps you've felt dismissed, convinced that you lack something others desire, and that you can never truly measure up or find acceptance on your own. It's a bleak place to find oneself.

These feelings can arise at different stages in our lives. I recall my own...

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Shutting Down and Changing the Subject

Jun 22, 2022

Do you take the time to reflect on your relationship with your loved ones? What influences our feelings, perceptions, and behaviors as evolving human beings? Are you consciously creating a nurturing environment where safety and trust influence the activation of genes and sculpt the structure of the brain?   

The genes that children inherit influence their development and shape the inborn characteristics of their nervous systems. Their experiences also directly shape their development and influence which genes are activated. Relationships that provide contingency (responses to other's signals with a quality, intensity, and timing which clearly reflect the signals that were sent), especially when emotions are heightened, offer our loved ones repeated experiences where they feel connected, understood and protected. 

I noticed when homeschooling my son, Rylan, that rather than sharing a mutual sense of interest and wonder as we focused on learning, Rylan would shut down...

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Waking to Racing Thoughts

Mar 30, 2022

Have you ever woken up early in the morning with a million thoughts racing through your head? And each thought is telling you what you should be doing, or better yet, telling you what you should already have done? Well, I remember when that was my experience one morning! 

I was telling myself, "You need to get up now, before Rylan wakes up, so you can write your newsletter?" "Hurry, before you run out of time!" "You were supposed to already have published your newsletter, hurry up!" "And don't forget to update your website." "Remember to create those new seminars while you are at it." "You really need to spend time connecting with the horses at least three times a week." "You ought to spend more time with your friend before she leaves." "Don't forget to plant seeds in the green house today." As the thoughts sped up I had the sensation that a balloon was about to burst within my chest. 

I recognized my familiar thought-life and paused deliberately. I took a deep cleansing...

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Feeling Intense Emotions

Oct 01, 2021

Have you ever felt intense emotions? I have. It’s really important, if we haven’t had anyone to accompany us with intense emotions, to know that it’s possible to develop not just a tolerance for them, but to welcome them and recognize energetically what they are meaning for us.

To recognize what the gifts are that they are bringing to our awareness, rather than trying to push them away or smoosh them down. They will just get bigger when we do that.

I was working with someone who was feeling very intense emotions. They would have very intense anger, then it would flip into very intense sadness. Their experience was, when these intense emotions came, it always made life more difficult, everything would get worse, and they always felt they were made wrong.

There was no sense of welcoming of their intense emotions, so their intense emotions got even more intense. That can burn us out, it’s really hard on our nervous system, pumping all this cortisol and...

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