Journey to Self-Awareness: Breaking Free from Autopilot

Jan 19, 2024

I've been reflecting on those moments in my day when I slip into autopilot, becoming an unwitting passenger in my own life. It's left me wondering: how did I let myself become a spectator in my own story? How can I reclaim my presence, slow down, and truly regain control of my choices?

This phenomenon can be incredibly subtle. For instance, when I'm out feeding my horses, a wave of reminiscence can wash over me, and suddenly, I find myself lost in the "ever-present-past." In those moments, I'm no longer fully engaged; I'm merely going through the motions.

Just yesterday, as I chatted with my aunt on my headset while driving to visit my grandkids, I realized I had missed my turn-off entirely! It's become evident how frequently I slip into autopilot throughout the day. I've come to appreciate the beauty of being fully present and empowered, the ability to slow down my inner processes and truly observe my life and the choices it presents. To consciously direct where I channel my...

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I Can’t Breathe!

Oct 12, 2022

After walking up the stairs early one morning, I heard my lungs begin to wheeze, and as a rattling stirred deep in my chest, my mind screamed, "I'm not getting enough air - I can't breathe!" instantaneously my whole body tightened into resistance with such an intensity that blind panic coursed through me. 

My eyes desperately scanned my outer environment for some means of help, and in that moment, I recognized this inner-state of being on a cellular level; learned helplessness. As I stopped, frozen in the ever-present-past, another layer of implicit belief emerged; “even if there was someone there - they couldn't help me - it'd make it worse.” 

When that was not instantly made wrong by my inner critic, I felt a slight inner-shift as a tender aspect of my inner self emerged, which seemed very vulnerable and all alone. So completely and utterly alone there was no one else to reach out to, no one to see me, to hear me, or to help me. 

I resisted the inner...

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Been Alone Too Long

Nov 08, 2021

With the way things have been going in our world, I’ve heard quite a few people talking about how long they have been alone. How long they have been in a sense of isolation and not having the liberty to engage with others as they used to be accustomed to. 

Their life has really changed, and some people feel scared. They are noticing that the longer they are alone, the more sensitive they feel when they do get to venture out. They have a high-tuned alert sensing into other people, worrying about social distancing, worrying about who is wearing a mask and who isn’t wearing a mask. 

They are worried about their own health and well-being, as well as the health and well-being of those they love. So, they might over-think things which creates a worrying cycle that creates more anxiety and stress, which creates more cortisol flooding their system. This is going to wear them out by creating a sense of exhaustion from the inside out. They have this hypervigilance for...

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