I recall a time in my life when it felt like everything was falling apart. My mother was battling cancer, my responsibilities were overwhelming, and I was wearing a mask, pretending to be someone I wasn't. I was attempting to endure an unnamed pain. When my mother passed away, I felt broken and done. I was finished with pretending to be someone I wasn't, and it was time to rediscover who I truly was.

A dear friend opened a door for me, connecting me with a gentle therapist who understood me. When we summon the courage to let our vulnerable, fractured parts be seen and held with compassion by another, and when we trust in something greater than ourselves to create that safe container, miracles can unfold. As my trust in this person grew, she asked if I'd be willing to participate in group sessions.

I hesitated, feeling safer with just her. She leaned in and acknowledged, "Yes, I understand that you feel safer with me, and that's perfectly okay. When you're ready, would you consider...

Do you feel suspicious when you receive kindness from others?

I've shared many times how, until even recently, my inner world was an unfriendly place. 

I would often go to a place of harsh, self-criticism, longing to get it "right" or be "enough". 

I've managed to shift my inner critical voice into one of warmth and safety over time, using resonant language, understanding how the nervous system works and rediscovering my joy. 

Many of us did not receive accurate reflections of our emotional experiences as little ones, and so did not receive the understanding that what was happening in us made sense.

It can be very difficult for humans to access self-esteem and self-compassion when what we are experiencing does not make sense to us. 

In fact, it is so distressing to be in this place of not making sense to ourselves that we can become cut off from accessing self-warmth and enter a place of intense self-dislike, even self-loathing. 

Other times, some of us...