In a recent conversation, I shared how critical it is to make choices that align with our deeper vision for our lives. When you have a clear vision of where you want to go, it shapes the decisions you make, both big and small. It’s your North Star, guiding you through the challenges, helping you stay on course, and showing you how every step—whether primary or secondary—moves you closer to the life you truly desire.

Vision: The Foundation of Every Choice

Your primary choices are rooted in your vision. They are the big decisions that determine the direction of your life. Without a strong vision, you may find yourself making choices that are reactive, temporary, or even misaligned with your true desires. But when you have clarity about where you want to go—whether it’s in your career, relationships, or personal growth—your primary choices are intentional and aligned with that higher purpose.

Let’s take learning to play the piano as an example....

In our busy lives, it’s easy to overlook the reasons behind our choices. How often do we take action out of genuine alignment with our values versus simply following an ingrained sense of obligation? Understanding the difference can be transformative. Today let’s dive into the world of choices, particularly exploring the concepts of primary and secondary choices, and how becoming conscious of these can help us live more authentically.

What Does It Mean to Have a Choice?

At its core, a choice is something you can either do or not do—it’s that simple. But in society, the term choice is often used interchangeably with obligation. When you feel obliged to do something, the element of freedom is lost, leaving you with compliance rather than true choice. This blurring between choice and obligation can have a profound impact on how we navigate our lives and relationships.

For instance, think about commitments. Once we commit to something, we often feel that we must...

Do you ever experience that uncomfortable feeling when you want something but can’t have it right away? It’s that inner tension, that sense of unease that sometimes feels overwhelming and even triggers conflict within us. Today, we’re exploring how to deal with this tension and turn it into an opportunity for personal growth.

We all experience moments of frustration when we don’t immediately get what we want. It'st’s important to recognize that our discomfort often stems from an unconscious pattern we’ve developed over time. These patterns are rooted in the stories we tell ourselves about our desires and the perceived obstacles in our way.

When we say, “I want this, but I can’t have it,” we’re often reinforcing a belief that creates tension. It’s not the situation itself that causes the discomfort but rather the meaning we attach to it. These stories can make the tension feel thicker, almost like heavy rubber bands...

Have you ever experienced the incredible sensation of being truly seen and understood by someone? It’s not just about hearing the right words but feeling a deep resonance that reaches into your very soul. That moment when another person gets you so profoundly that something within you relaxes and begins to heal. Today, I want to explore this magical experience and how it can transform the way we relate to ourselves and others.

I remember vividly the first time I felt truly understood by another human being. It was during a vulnerable conversation with a woman who was organizing a Nonviolent Communication family camp I wanted to attend. I was nervous, sharing my fears while holding the phone tightly, staring at the floor in deep concentration. And then, something remarkable happened: she resonated with my felt experience.

It was more than just listening; it was magic. She understood exactly how it felt to be me in that moment. The impact was profound, as if a frozen part of me...

Recently, I had a heartfelt conversation with my good friend, Gail Donahue. We were discussing the importance of maintaining a regular practice of self-awareness—specifically, stepping into circles of choice. This practice involves consciously recognizing the energy we're accessing when making decisions, understanding that we're constantly making choices throughout our day, whether we're aware of them or not.

Gail shared her personal experience:

"I've found it challenging to keep up with a daily practice consistently. It starts with good intentions—I think, 'This is something I should be doing.' But if you've spent a lot of your life feeling alone or believing you don't belong, it can be hard to sit with yourself and make those choices. It's something we might want to talk about—recognizing that this is normal and why being in a community is so important. Community helps support us in building the muscles to believe in ourselves and step into the consciousness of...

This year, I made a conscious decision to deepen my connection with my horse, Finn. My intention was to work with him in such a way that we could communicate effortlessly, moving in sync without the need for a halter or lead rope. Achieving this level of understanding required patience, practice, and a keen awareness of the subtle cues between us.

To develop this mutual feel, I began by using a halter and lead rope, applying only the lightest pressure necessary to capture his attention. Horses are incredibly sensitive creatures; they can feel a fly land on their skin despite their thick coats. Knowing this, I focused on being mindful of the pressure I used when guiding him—whether inviting him to move right or left, back up, turn in a circle, or move forward. Each gentle movement was a step toward our ultimate goal: to dance together freely.

I recall my time with another horse, Aragon, a big, beautiful black gelding with whom I loved to dance. He has since moved on to greener...

Recently, I had the opportunity to attend a conference, which has always been a source of inspiration and community for me. The energy there is so warm and welcoming, and it feels like a big family reunion every time. The people are diverse, fun, and deeply connected, making each experience truly enriching.

One memorable moment from the conference was sparked by a speaker who mentioned the concept of “sandpaper” in relationships. It was a lighthearted metaphor, yet so true. We all chuckled, recognizing how certain interactions can feel abrasive, depending on the situation. This idea of ‘sandpaper’ stuck with me, especially as I encountered a situation that challenged my usual patterns of behavior.

During the conference, I found myself in a scenario that triggered an old survival pattern—a pattern where I avoid conflict at all costs. It happened when I was saving seats for my team in the front row, only to have someone else claim the seat I had reserved....

Hi there, I wanted to take a moment to connect with you from a special place—my sanctuary. This morning, I decided to step outside, find my swing, and simply be in nature. From where I sit, I can see my chickens roaming freely, a flock of quail darting through the brush, and the vast expanse of the pasture stretching out before me. It's one of those peaceful fall mornings where the gentle breeze and fresh air feel like a gift.

As the seasons shift from summer to fall, I’ve noticed a bit of a transition within myself. I’ve always loved the warmth and energy of summer, and there’s a part of me that wasn’t quite ready to let it go. Have you ever felt that way? Those moments when something in your life is so lovely, so full of light, that you wish it could last just a little longer? But, as we all know, change is inevitable. It’s woven into the fabric of life, constantly guiding us from one season to the next.

Lately, I’ve been growing my...

When we’re on a journey toward healing and wholeness, it can be easy to fall into a common trap—focusing on what we “don’t” want. We make declarations like, “I’m not going to do that anymore,” or “I need to let go of this bad habit.” While the intention is good, what many don’t realize is that this kind of focus can actually reinforce the very behavior we’re trying to change.

Why? Because when we focus on what we don’t want, we’re still giving energy and attention to it, unconsciously reinforcing that habit. The mind latches onto the habit itself, rather than the positive change we’re aiming for. So, how do we shift that pattern? The key lies in learning to pay attention to the words we say and how they make us feel. Rather than focusing on what you want to avoid, start framing it in a positive light by focusing on what you “do” want to bring into your life.

Let me share a personal...

Have you ever had a dream where you were flying? That feeling of soaring through the sky, free and unburdened? I hadn’t had a dream like that in years, but just the other night, it happened again. It reminded me of a magical experience from my childhood—a time when I felt truly free. As I sat with the dream and let its meaning sink in, I realized just how much it mirrors what's happening in my life right now.

When I was a child, flying dreams were the most magical experiences I could imagine. They were filled with freedom and joy, just like riding a horse bareback with my arms outstretched, feeling the wind on my face and in my hair. That sense of weightlessness, of being able to escape gravity and soar, was an unforgettable feeling. It's one of the reasons I’ve always loved riding bareback—the sensation is so similar to those dreams, and it represents the same kind of freedom that calls to my heart.

But this recent dream wasn’t just about flying. It...