Passionate About Attachment

Sep 11, 2020

Today I got fired up about something, I got fired up about attachment. Secure attachment. Some of you may not be aware that there are several different types of ways that us human beings attach.

When we are fortunate and blessed to have attentive and caring parents that monitor our sounds and our cries of distress when we were little, and they attend to us as best they can. And, they make repairs with us when they are late, or they miss a cue. We develop what is known as secure attachment.

When we aren’t so fortunate, we can develop avoidant attachment, or ambivalent attachment. Avoidant attachment is when our caregivers looked at us if we were specimens or objects, they look at us to see if they need to do something to fix us, to clean us, to tend to us. We were more of a task, rather than a person. This attachment adaptation is more left-hemisphere dominate.

In attachment there is a wide spectrum, at the top is where we are secure. Imagine an inverted U, my dear friend and...

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Looks That Imply Wrongness

Jul 24, 2020

Have you ever had someone else give you a look that caused you to recoil with a shame reaction? Maybe the look implied that you’d done something wrong or that you hadn’t done something well enough. Maybe it brought up a fear inside of you around feeling hurt or rejected. Or it sparked a need to defend yourself and it was really uncomfortable. Yet, your voice just couldn’t be heard. 

Maybe when this happened, you felt invisible or they obviously didn’t even know you. At the same time, even if they are having expectations of you, I’m wondering if you are needing some shared reality around what it’s like to receive projections from others. I’m guessing you may be needing your own intentions to be acknowledged and seen for what they truly are. 

When someone gives us a look, especially if it is one of disgust, it’s going to cause that instantaneous response in our nervous system. Our neck and our shoulders will actually lose...

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