Today’s post is especially dedicated to all of you folks out there who support others. You might be a therapist, a doctor, a psychotherapist or a coach working in health and wellness. Sometimes, when we are about this work, we can feel exhaustion. We keep doing our best to power through to make a difference, because our work in the world really does matter, to so many lives.
Yet, what can happen when we are powering through, we can end up lacking healthy boundaries, taking on more than we need to or that is good for us. We may find it difficult to be able to say “No” when somebody asks for support or help, even though we have already put in our shift or have a full schedule. If we continue down that path, then some of us may start to get frazzled and not be able to track so well and communicate with a lack of clarity. We can fall down into this place that has no motivation at all and we feel so tired. This can happen in many different ways.
Let me share one of my stories. The other day I got an email from my accountant with a tax report. Immediately, inside, my inner voice said, “I’m never going to get ahead. There is nothing I can do!” I caught that and thought, wait a minute, where did that come from? I noticed in my body that I felt distressed, worried, detached, depleted and discouraged.
What I recognized underneath that, when I took the time to get into the shadow beliefs, was it was coming from a sense of scarcity. There was an anxiousness, catastrophizing about the future. And also, powerlessness. I thought, whoa, I’d better slow that down a little bit. What I did was to take time to get into my heart. To sit with my body and that felt-sense experience, to slow time down and recognize where did this originate.
The power of the heart is astonishing. What I was so surprised with was I went back to a memory of being a really little girl. I might have been only about two. My dad was holding me, and he was going to introduce me to a new uncle. I was scared of this uncle. I remember withdrawing and trying to pull away. I wanted my mommy and didn’t know where she was. I remember my dad and my uncle were both laughing, and I wasn’t finding anything funny, I was just scared and I wanted my mom.
Out of that I ended up with these beliefs; I am unsafe, people are mean, I am frightened, and I am powerless. I was needing safety and security. I was really needing the love that would offer that experience, especially for a little one. As I sat with that surprising memory, of where my body first felt that level of distress and worry, that I would even have that internal experience of detaching from my experience, and feeling a sense of depletion, of not enoughness. How the child-self was drawn to the mother image of love, and of safety and security.
As I sat with that and allowed my inner experience to recognize that origin. I felt tenderness and in touch with the innocence that is our birthright. I felt very protective of that and our need for choice. The need for all of our child-selves to be able to give consent, or not. To be empowered to be able to make those choices.
So, I did a little time traveling. I went back in time, deep within myself, and imagined my dad holding me and when my uncle approaches to meet me and I pull back, my dad notices that right away. He says, “Oh, are you frightened? Daddy’s here and no one will hurt you.” I speak up and say, “I want mommy.” So, he calls out, “Ginger, Gloria wants you, she needs you.”
My mom comes in and I eagerly reach out for her and she hugs me and holds me close. Instantaneously I feel so safe and secure. She gently invites me to say hi to my uncle. I am able to turn and see him with new eyes, and I relax. Because I am completely trusting in her love.
The message I receive from this experience here, is that I am empowered with the energy of love and above, and anything is possible when I’m there.
From that place then, allowing my child-self to have that loving support that’s tender and gracious and warm. I let it go all the way across my time-line and all the different versions of me. I’m supported to know myself and to trust my intuition. I’m empowered to speak my truth with grace and trust knowing I’m supported by divine love at all times. I focus my attention on that which serves my life and I’m motivated by my passion and purpose in life. To build strong relationships of trust.
So, going back then to when I got that email, I recognize that what I was needing in that moment was trust. Trust that I am safe and secure in this life. The quantum field of gratitude, that’s faith based, really supports my body. I rewrote receiving that email; I receive it from my accountant and as I read the tax report, I take a moment to give thanks for my accountants’ support. Because I trust her, and I really appreciate her work in the world. Then I extend my gratitude to my faith-filled work in the world. I am so grateful that I am empowered to offer the services that I do and to build the relationships of trust that I’m able to build.
Then I turn to focus on creating the content for my new course that are coming up, because I really enjoy them, and they are going to be amazing. When I did that my whole story can change. I can have healthy boundaries within myself and with others. I can the time to relax, to recharge and be rejuvenated. So, setting authentic limits with myself, and in my relationships with others, where I’m going to focus my attention is one limit that I’m going to take some time with. To remind myself about what I am saying yes to, when somebody asks me to do something, I may wish that I could do it, I can also take the time to check in with all of my self, to be in full choice and to honor what my choices are.
When I slow down like that, I am able to be more present and fully here so then I’m able to communicate with much more clarity and grace. I have quick recall to remember what it is that I’m wanting to say. The thing I really enjoyed was being able to slow down to come back to remember who I am and why I am here. I am inspired by that! I’m so grateful to be able to share it with others too.
So, I asked myself to be willing to write a blog, to be able to share this truth, that when we are supporting others to be healthy and resilient, strong and self-connected, it is equally important that we are taking that time ourselves. And, this week especially, I want to acknowledge that I am empowered by the power of love and above, and a big part of that is to slow down to embody the gratitude in the moment. If we start to feel uncomfortable, we can be grateful that we notice that, because that in itself is a call to come back to being who we really are.
So, where in your life are you being called to slow down, to come into your heart, and remember what you are grateful for?
Thanks for being on this journey with me. Healing You. And, also, for taking the time to express gratitude.