Do You Worry?

Do you ever worry about anything? I do. I woke up this morning really worried about a lot of things that I didn’t realize that I was worrying about. I don’t know for you, but I know for me I can catch the “what if’s” What if this happens, or what if that happens, or what if this DOESN’T happen? What if that other thing happens? That is a tangled web that can get complicated and murky. 

Another thing that can happen with the worries for me is I can fear the worst. Learning all these new technologies that I’m doing, as I’m developing my sense of self in the world and wanting to reach more people and create more resources, what if I crash the whole program? That would be disastrous. What if my internet goes out when I’m in the middle of making a recording? Or what if my sound doesn’t work? What if the internet makes everything slow way down, and then speed up really fast? I’ve had that happen to me, and I didn’t like it. So, I worried about it because I didn’t want it to happen ever again. 

So, maybe there’s part of me that thinks that if I worry enough it won’t happen! I don’t know. Maybe. Then there is another worry, what if I run out of time? There are only so many hours in a day, there is only me, myself, and I here to do these things. And the clock keeps ticking. I’m like, “Where did time go? I was just getting started. What do you mean I forgot to eat lunch?” 

And then, on my gosh, how do you make ends meet? Because there are extra expenses. There are things you don’t expect to come up. How are you going to manage and have your resources stretch, when they are already stretched further than you want them to stretch? Stretching is uncomfortable. I’m here to tell you it’s true. 

So, I’ve been getting stretched out of my comfort zone. Stretching and discovering that I can learn this new technology. I can actually have a little bit of fun with it. When I notice that life is getting busy, it reminds me to come back and practice presence. To remember why I’m doing what I’m doing. To re-center myself with my intention from my heart. 

Just naming that right now I can feel my whole body relax. Just down shift. I’ve been waiting all day to make this video. I’m thinking it might have been a good thing to start my day. I could have down shifted a long time ago! And yet, I guess this is perfect timing. Because life is a journey. 

What started my day was waking up in the middle of the night running all of those fears that I shared with you a minute ago, when I recognized that to take time throughout my day to practice presence. Dropping into my body and paying attention to where my mind rests. Noticing the tension in my shoulders, the tension down my spine. 

Sometimes I feel like I could just cry, I don’t even know why, but boy I could sure cry. So, I’m guessing there are some neuro-chemicals that are ready to move and am I willing to allow it? That’s the big question there. Because there are parts of me, from my ever-present-past, that doesn’t ever want to allow that.  When I can bring in that grandmother energy of love, that has grace embodied love, then there is a softness that can happen. There is a remembering of who I am created to be. Because you know, the truth is, life can only seem to be against you when you are being someone whom you are not. 

I know it’s true that life is for you. Rather than being scared of the what-if’s and terrified of the worst happening and running out of time, what about trusting? You can trust that life is for you, and you can follow your own rhythm. If it starts speeding up, you can slow it back down. You can practice resourcing yourself in the moment. 

When we can practice presence, I’ve discovered that I can stay curious and fascinated with life, for the rest of my life. Because there is always going to be the unexpected that pops up. Then it’s an opportunity to connect with that.