Don't Touch Me!

Have you taken in a blue sky with puffy white clouds on a warm summer’s day lately - or in the past?  Can you bring to your mind and body what that felt like to experience? As you remember can you slow down your inner experience to notice any sensations in your heart space, your face, your belly, or any images in your mind’s eye? I, personally, have found this can seem very stretching to pull off, especially in the face of stress or anxiety when I had been anticipating pleasure instead.   

Several years ago after spending the morning connecting and working with my horses, I was looking forward to going with my son to visit one of the local Horse Rescue centers together. As I went into the house, I heard my son express with intensity, “It hurts! It hurts! Get off of me!”  

I felt my belly clench and face tighten, as I quickly moved to his side to offer my support only to be met with, “Don’t touch me!” as he began to desperately pull off his shoes and socks.  

Immediately my chest collapsed, my face flushed, and I heard my inner critic taunt me, “It’s never going to change – this will always happen – you should know better by now.”   

Silently I placed my hand on my chest, closed my eyes, and looked up over the horizon to connect with the Light. I breathed into my heart space gently, and felt my Essential Self draw close.  

“Are you feeling bowled over with the sudden sense of disappointment? Just so worried that time will be stuck in a loop of never ending lack? I’m wondering do you really like it when you can sink into the inner experience of having abundant, endless support about you, like a warm billowy cushion of Love energy within and all around. Especially in moments of intensity with the one who is your son?” My Essential Self guessed.  

Time felt as if it stood still as I breathed in Love, and breathed out Love. In reality it took only a moment, yet that precious moment of self-connection fueled my capacity to extend that same gentle, loving acceptance to my son.   

I asked him softly, “Do your feet need more freedom today, or maybe they’d enjoy the support of deep pressure massage?”   

I noticed his body shift and soften in response, as he made a request, “I need a hug.” 

In terms of building neural structure, what matters is not the event or circumstance itself, but slowing down to notice your embodied experience (without making it wrong) then consciously choosing to sink into allowing, and uncovering, a sense of Love. 

When I remembered to look up (with my eyes closed) to take in the wide expanse of blue sky and to focus with intention on the puffy white clouds I saw there (in my mind’s eye) I could dip into the sensations of warmth, lightness, and happiness in my body, and notice, enrich, and absorb, how beautiful life is when seen as an opportunity.