Embracing Self-Awareness: Navigating Choices and Belief Systems

Recently, I had a heartfelt conversation with my good friend, Gail Donahue. We were discussing the importance of maintaining a regular practice of self-awareness—specifically, stepping into circles of choice. This practice involves consciously recognizing the energy we're accessing when making decisions, understanding that we're constantly making choices throughout our day, whether we're aware of them or not.

Gail shared her personal experience:

"I've found it challenging to keep up with a daily practice consistently. It starts with good intentions—I think, 'This is something I should be doing.' But if you've spent a lot of your life feeling alone or believing you don't belong, it can be hard to sit with yourself and make those choices. It's something we might want to talk about—recognizing that this is normal and why being in a community is so important. Community helps support us in building the muscles to believe in ourselves and step into the consciousness of the choices we want."

Her words resonated deeply with me. I remember times when I struggled with similar feelings. The belief systems we grow up with can profoundly impact how we navigate life. These beliefs, often imprinted on us from birth, become patterns that run beneath the surface, influencing our thoughts, feelings, and actions without our conscious awareness.

For much of my life, I held a belief that if I showed up as my true self, people wouldn't like me—they'd run the other way. This belief was so deeply embedded that I would freeze if I received too much attention. The idea of sharing my inner world with others felt impossible.

But over time, I began to realize that these belief systems were just that—systems of beliefs, not absolute truths. Recognizing them as patterns allowed me to start questioning their validity. I found that introspection, especially when I felt triggered by something, helped me to slow down and observe what was happening inside me. What was I telling myself? What patterns were at play?

One of the most transformative steps I took was finding someone I could trust—a compassionate presence who could hold space for me as I explored these deeply held beliefs. This wasn't about seeking someone to commiserate with or to fix me, but someone who could listen without judgment and gently reflect back what they heard. Having this kind of support allowed me to begin sharing little pieces of my true self, to test the waters of vulnerability in a safe environment.

Gail and I talked about the importance of community in this process. She noted:

“It's challenging to break these patterns alone. Recognizing that it's normal to struggle with this and seeking support is so important. Being part of a community helps us build the muscles to believe in ourselves and step into the consciousness of the choices we want to make."

I agreed wholeheartedly. Community can provide a container of safety where we can practice being honest about our experiences. It's a space where we can be witnessed by others who see the light within us, even when we can't see it ourselves.

However, I also acknowledged that for some, the idea of opening up in a group setting might feel overwhelming. In my own journey, there was a time when the thought of joining a group was out of the question. For those who feel this way, starting with one trusted individual—a coach, therapist, or empathetic friend—can be a gentle first step.

It's important to remember that developing self-awareness is a practice. It doesn't happen overnight, and it's not about perfection. It's about taking small, consistent steps toward understanding ourselves better. It's about recognizing when we're operating from old belief systems and choosing to respond differently.

One key insight I've gained is that it's not about believing in ourselves in the traditional sense. Rather, it's about freeing ourselves to be who we truly are, beyond the constraints of the belief systems we've internalized. These systems vary depending on our culture, family, and personal experiences, and they can deeply influence how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.

By bringing awareness to these patterns, we can start to reclaim our authentic selves. This process often involves introspection, mindfulness, and, importantly, compassion—for ourselves and for others. As we become more aware, we can make conscious choices that align with our true nature, rather than reacting unconsciously from old patterns.

Gail and I also touched on the concept of perspective. Recognizing our belief systems and how they shape our perceptions is crucial. When we can step back and view our thoughts and feelings from a broader perspective, we gain clarity. This allows us to navigate our lives with greater intention and to make choices that serve our highest good.

As I reflect on our conversation, I'm reminded of the power of vulnerability and connection. Sharing our experiences with others can be profoundly healing. It helps us realize that we're not alone in our struggles, and it opens the door to deeper understanding and growth.

If you're finding it challenging to maintain a self-awareness practice, know that you're not alone. Here are some steps you might consider:

1. Start Small: Begin with brief moments of reflection each day. Even five minutes can make a difference.

2. Seek Support: Whether it's a trusted friend, a coach, or a support group, finding someone to share your journey with can provide encouragement and accountability.

3. Practice Compassion: Be gentle with yourself. Recognize that breaking old patterns takes time and patience.

4. Stay Curious: Approach your thoughts and feelings with curiosity rather than judgment. Ask yourself what these experiences might be teaching you.

5. Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge the small steps you take. Every bit of awareness is a victory.

Questions for Reflection

- What belief systems might be influencing your choices without you realizing it?

- How can you bring more awareness to the patterns that govern your behavior?

- Who might you reach out to for support in your journey toward greater self-awareness?

Embracing self-awareness is a lifelong journey, one that unfolds gradually. By bringing conscious attention to our choices and the beliefs that underlie them, we can begin to live more authentically. Remember, you don't have to do this alone. Community and connection are powerful catalysts for growth.

Thank you for joining me on this reflective exploration. I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Feel free to share in the comments below or reach out directly.