Empower Your Healing: Focus on What You’re Saying Yes To

When we’re on a journey toward healing and wholeness, it can be easy to fall into a common trap—focusing on what we “don’t” want. We make declarations like, “I’m not going to do that anymore,” or “I need to let go of this bad habit.” While the intention is good, what many don’t realize is that this kind of focus can actually reinforce the very behavior we’re trying to change.

Why? Because when we focus on what we don’t want, we’re still giving energy and attention to it, unconsciously reinforcing that habit. The mind latches onto the habit itself, rather than the positive change we’re aiming for. So, how do we shift that pattern? The key lies in learning to pay attention to the words we say and how they make us feel. Rather than focusing on what you want to avoid, start framing it in a positive light by focusing on what you “do” want to bring into your life.

Let me share a personal story that taught me this lesson.

Years ago, I used to smoke cigarettes. I started in my teenage years, seeking comfort in a time of stress and trauma. But, like many bad habits, it didn’t give me the relief I was looking for. As I got older, I knew I wanted to quit, and I would often tell myself, “I don’t want to smoke anymore.” But you know what? That approach didn’t work. The more I told myself I didn’t want to smoke, the more I found myself wanting to reach for another cigarette.

It wasn’t until I shifted my focus that real change happened. Instead of saying “I don’t want to smoke,” I started focusing on the things I loved and wanted more of. I loved the fresh, clean taste of spearmint, and I adored the ability to take deep breaths while swimming. So, I began to say yes to those experiences. I’d tell myself, “I love the feeling of fresh air in my lungs,” or “I’m excited to swim longer and breathe more deeply.”

In stressful moments when my old habit would try to creep back in, I’d acknowledge it without judgment, but I’d immediately choose a new action—one that was life-serving. I’d chew a piece of spearmint gum, go for a walk, and focus on how great it felt to breathe deeply. Over time, by reinforcing what I was saying yes to, my cravings diminished, and I broke free from the habit.

The real transformation came from learning how to communicate with compassion and understanding toward myself. Instead of fighting against old patterns, I began encouraging my heart to take actions that were in service of my life. And I found that by proactively having an idea of what life-serving actions I could take, I was better equipped to follow through.

So, here’s my invitation to you: Take a moment to reflect. What are you saying yes to in your life? What actions or experiences are you focusing on that will bring you closer to the life you want to create?

Life is for you, not against you. When you shift your focus to what you truly desire and reframe it in a warm light, you empower yourself to make meaningful, lasting changes.

Your Action Step:

Identify one habit or pattern you want to change. Rather than saying, “I’m not going to do that anymore,” reframe it. What experiences are you saying yes to? Write it down and keep it in mind the next time you’re tempted by the old habit.

Remember, real transformation comes when you focus on the actions and experiences that bring life to your heart.

---

This approach has truly transformed my life, and I hope it inspires you to take action in a way that serves your growth and well-being. If you’d like to dive deeper into this topic, I invite you to explore more in my reels [linked here]. Let's keep saying yes to a brighter, healthier, and more empowered version of ourselves!