Learning to Witness Your Patterns Without Judgment

As I continue on my path of self-discovery and healing, I often reflect on the earlier stages of my journey—back when I first started noticing my patterns. At the time, I was consumed with shame every time I recognized one of these patterns in myself. My initial reaction was, "This is bad. I shouldn’t be doing that." But over time, and with compassionate understanding, I’ve learned not to step into the field of judgment so quickly.

One of the most powerful things I did during those early stages, which helped me begin to dissolve the patterns or, at the very least, diminish their control over my behavior, was simply acknowledging them. When I noticed I was running a pattern, I no longer made myself wrong for it. Instead, I chose to witness it.

I would take a step back—into my heart—and observe my behavior with curiosity, rather than judgment. I started to ask myself, "What is this pattern really about? What are the nuances of my experience that allow this pattern to continue to drive my behavior?" By getting to know my patterns more clearly and seeing what had previously been hidden, they began to lose their power over me.

In those moments of witnessing, I discovered something profound: I had a choice. I could choose to recognize what I wanted more of in my life and then go after that. I wasn’t trapped by these old behaviors—I had the ability to change them by first understanding them.

So, I encourage you to take the time to sit with your experiences, to notice them without judgment as best you can. Observe your patterns, get to know them, and be kind to yourself in the process. And when you’re ready, share your reflections with someone who is curious and genuinely interested in your journey. Having someone accompany you in this process is incredibly powerful—it allows you to feel seen and supported as you explore the deeper layers of your experience.

Life is meant to be enjoyed, and through this process of witnessing without judgment, you can begin to release the hold your patterns have over you and step into greater freedom and choice.