Waking to Racing Thoughts

Have you ever woken up early in the morning with a million thoughts racing through your head? And each thought is telling you what you should be doing, or better yet, telling you what you should already have done? Well, I remember when that was my experience one morning! 

I was telling myself, "You need to get up now, before Rylan wakes up, so you can write your newsletter?" "Hurry, before you run out of time!" "You were supposed to already have published your newsletter, hurry up!" "And don't forget to update your website." "Remember to create those new seminars while you are at it." "You really need to spend time connecting with the horses at least three times a week." "You ought to spend more time with your friend before she leaves." "Don't forget to plant seeds in the green house today." As the thoughts sped up I had the sensation that a balloon was about to burst within my chest. 

I recognized my familiar thought-life and paused deliberately. I took a deep cleansing breath, and smiled as I welcomed my felt-sense experience and then released my breath. These intentional responses invited my inner state of resistance to shift from its heightened alert to sink into an atmosphere of being welcomed right where I was, in this moment of time, into a relaxed state of self-acceptance that is always within me, always here, always now.   

I remember turning to gaze upon my sleeping son, and reflected on the last incredible month of life with him. As I lay there all snuggly warm, I chose to take the time to greet any sensation, thoughts, emotions, or images that would float into my awareness. Images and thoughts around the new sound therapy Rylan had begun bubbled up. I recognized his usual pattern, when faced with the unexpected, of shifting quite quickly into an automatic "fight" response had shifted to a transparent "fear" response. 

I saw then, just how vital it was for me, as a parent, to be willing to provide the ABC's of attachment for my son. Which are; attunement, balance, and coherence. 

He would become so frightened if I was unexpectedly gone from his sight. So, I decided to remain present with him, as he transitioned from sleeping to waking. And I silently celebrated my new awareness that nothing was more important. 

When I consciously slowed down to attune, connect, and communicate with Rylan we could co-create a secure attachment between us, as well as lay a strong foundation for healthy growth and development. This is how he has been supported to make meaning of his sense of self and enabled to develop a coherent narrative about his life. 


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