What Drives Your Compulsions?
Do you ever get busy? Do you ever get so busy that you push on, even when you are exhausted and really tired? Maybe you want to be really organized and planning things out. Wanting to make sure you have a good diet, that you are exercising to be healthy, and you are taking note of the things that you want to do. As well as, the things you don’t want to do. So, you get really busy and there doesn’t seem to ever be enough time. Maybe you are afraid you are wasting time, because you value the time you have, so you do your best to get as much done as possible.
Then, there is a part of you that starts making “doing” wrong, because you also value being a very embodied presence, as “One” with the Universe. So, you start giving yourself a hard time and telling yourself that you are not doing things “good enough.” Or, giving yourself a bad time telling yourself that you don’t have enough willpower or strength. This can come in many different forms, depending upon our life experience, but when we get so hard on ourselves and fall into a sense of “lack” it can feel pretty stretching to find our way out.
I want to acknowledge though, that it is possible. It’s possible to slow down and to uncover what the unconscious contracts are that are driving your behavior and running you ragged. That are pushing you one when you are just exhausted. It’s like a compulsion, you are compelled to “do.”
For some of this it might be a contract that sounds something like, “I will behave as commanded in order to survive.” This was just the way we were brought up, it’s a way that seems to be in our very DNA. When we can take the time to go through a depth-process, that allows us to release that unconscious contract, it’s possible to feel empowering freedom from the inside out.
It’s possible to access your birthright for joy in the present moment. For you to have full self-expression in the world. And, then, there is a sense of more lightness and even being more energized by touching into your own heart and unpacking what’s never been unpacked before.
When I experience this there is a clarity that comes from inside. Learning feels easy, engaging in conversation is a joy, and there is a gratitude that leads from my heart. For me this is when “doing” comes back into balance and is in service of “Being.” What I do comes from Being in my heart, “Being” embodied in Love. That is a balance, and then what we produce is productive.
So, the practice that I invite you to consider is to notice when you push yourself; slow down and breathe. Connect with your heart to calm your mind. Allow yourself to learn how to translate whatever that compulsion was that was driving you, to slow down to translate that into the beauty of the need that is underneath it.