Today, I've been contemplating the profound impact of fear on our lives. There are two distinct types of fear that have become apparent to me: one serves as an essential alarm, notifying us of real danger, prompting our entire being to ensure our safety. The other kind of fear, however, is a much lonelier struggle – it's the fear that we don't matter. It's a distressing isolation, where we feel utterly alone, sometimes even convincing ourselves that we are insignificant in the eyes of the world, believing that nobody has ever experienced this pain before.

This particular fear can manifest as feelings of abandonment, rejection, or not measuring up to others' expectations. Have you ever been ridiculed or belittled? Perhaps you've felt dismissed, convinced that you lack something others desire, and that you can never truly measure up or find acceptance on your own. It's a bleak place to find oneself.

These feelings can arise at different stages in our lives. I recall my own...

When people experience trauma, their symptoms may last months or years, with triggers that can bring back memories of the trauma accompanied by intense emotional and physical reactions. Today I want to share with you how one of my clients experienced stepping into the constellation field with a horse.

Terrified of not mattering, being abandoned, and cast aside in her relationships, she came to Healing You Sanctuary to begin to heal her traumatic history. We went outside to the round pen and I asked her to build a magic room, a place she could go and feel safe. There were a variety of materials available in the round pen, and I had turned out Saphira, my mare, to provide female companionship.  Let me share her experience in her words. 

"Being asked to build a place to feel safe felt confusing. I put a chair and a stick and string in the round pen. I thought, "I really don't need anything to feel safe with Saphira." So I just stood, looking at all the other things and...

I’ve spent time with several people lately that have been really struggling with deep sadness and grief. This sadness can feel so profound that the heart contracts and it feels very similar to a heart attack. Your heart can feel heavy with grief.

Have you ever felt your heart contract with pain, to where it feels difficult to breathe as well? Panic attacks are actually an activation of the PANIC/GRIEF/ABANDONMENT circuitry. When these attacks happen, it seems as if the very ground beneath your feet falls away. You can feel lost. Your SEEKING circuit dissipates, and you have no way to even begin to make movement in your world.

As we begin to allow ourselves to be held by others, and not be alone in our grief, we can have the courage to name our experience. We can receive some acknowledgement around what it’s like to be us in those moments. Such as, “Would it be sweet if someone understood just how difficult this is?”

Notice what happens in your body as you...