What is trauma? By definition; trauma wreaks havoc in a body, a mind or a system.  Do you imagine the devastation might be less if the person who had the experience were accompanied?

One way to think about trauma, which may seem surprising, is, rather than measuring the magnitude of the horrendous event, we can measure the extent to which the person who experienced the tragedy was left alone with it.  When we approach trauma from this point of view, its after-effects become the evidence that a part of us became stuck in terrifying, isolated, moments of time. 

These little ones hidden within us, the ones we try to care for with self-harming remedies, are formed and then left behind by the rolling waves of trauma, such as; an intensity of loneliness, of terror, or of rage, which as it slowly recedes leaves behind entangled parts of self. The tangles are unchanging in their need; inconsolable, forever desperate, seeking to be soothed by something that is so close to what...

At Healing You Sanctuary, both horses and clients are recognized as sentient beings, whole, complete and perfect as they are. The dance of connection that unfolds, as clients develop their unique relationships with the horses, allows each person to begin to glimpse their patterns that are below conscious awareness in their relationships. Time slows down, and they begin to “see” through the eyes of the horse, new possibilities of what they might begin to do differently in relationships. The following testimony reflects this beautifully. 

“In my session I noticed there was still a part of me that needed to know it is safe to have a voice when big energy comes up. I saw the big horse standing tall, looking at me. He started to move toward me. I was doing my best to imagine slowing down inside, when an image of my husband and son in conflict popped up in my mind. In that moment, my heart raced with fear, and I could not think or imagine what to do different. I...

Do you believe in magic? In the power of warm, resonant magic? 

Experiential learning is powerful, especially when building a relationship, especially with a horse. Yet it is just part of the picture. For healing to happen, we need to begin to notice the patterns of our inner experience, and where we place our attention. The formation of neural pathways that shape our brains are stimulated by our behavior emotions and (energy in motion) especially in relationships with others. Where we focus our attention, consciously or unconsciously, our energy follows. This practice either reinforces old patterns or initiates new ones.

We all have emotions that we are very familiar with and know that if certain things happen, one or more of the emotions will flare up and dominate our awareness. (Limbic hijack) We also have underlying patterns of thoughts that accompany us all the time. So, the emotions we feel and thoughts we think (the quality of our consciousness) increases the energy and...

What is the magic of time-travel empathy?

There are different times in each year that I like to take time to slow down and acknowledge just how many miracles I have been blessed to experience in relationship with others. I enjoy recognizing invitations to deepen my capacity to both self-connect and connect with others and listen to the wisdom of our bodies through its felt-sense, becoming more and more horse-like. This year began with knowing I was stepping into a new beginning of my life, in partnership with my majestic herd, and collaboratively growing with warm community. This continues to be an ongoing relational practice. 

A huge part of my learning journey has been intentionally developing my ability to be willing to trust that not only is it possible, but that it's safe, to receive deep, meaningful support for myself. Allowing myself to be vulnerable, transparent, and curious in relationship within a collaborative community of others--sharing resonant space, exchanging...

I remember a powerful experience when I had just held space for a team member who was triggered, and I was beginning to debrief with my co-facilitators. As I looked into another team members eyes, I felt a lightness in my chest and a sense of resonance. But suddenly, I felt a drop of energy in the room, like a void, a dark cloud of energy.

Glancing to my right, I noticed one of the women sitting quietly, still-faced, and looking away. I recognized a familiar sense of dread and nothingness waft over my felt sense of existing in that moment. I felt like doom was eminently near.

Immediately, my Compassionate Self silently acknowledged this inner felt part, saying gently, "I see you. I am here with you. It is safe to be you, especially now."

Breathing into my belly, I turned with curiosity to the still-faced person and said, "I'd like to check in with you. I sense it may feel as if I rolled over you, and that was not my intention. I apologize."

"Well, I understand people get...

What’s so valuable about developing body awareness?

Our bodily systems hold our memories forever, including memories of traumatic events, (the amygdala has no sense of time); until we reclaim the moments when we experienced overwhelm with attuned, warm, resonate presence. When we intentionally slow down both our inner and outer experiences, mindfully checking in with our body to notice any sensations and/or impulses to move, we open a new doorway of experiencing.  Daniel Siegel describes this as "a new plane of possibility." 

Is it possible to rest in our experience of what is happening in order to see it more clearly? 

When pausing to bring attention to your body, notice the first place your mind rests, this opens a doorway to the Present moment. As you attune to your own inner experience, you can begin to receive the wisdom of your body, notice the sensations in this area, and intentionally take time to become aware of the subtleties within sensations (such as...

I’ve spent time with several people lately that have been really struggling with deep sadness and grief. This sadness can feel so profound that the heart contracts and it feels very similar to a heart attack. Your heart can feel heavy with grief.

Have you ever felt your heart contract with pain, to where it feels difficult to breathe as well? Panic attacks are actually an activation of the PANIC/GRIEF/ABANDONMENT circuitry. When these attacks happen, it seems as if the very ground beneath your feet falls away. You can feel lost. Your SEEKING circuit dissipates, and you have no way to even begin to make movement in your world.

As we begin to allow ourselves to be held by others, and not be alone in our grief, we can have the courage to name our experience. We can receive some acknowledgement around what it’s like to be us in those moments. Such as, “Would it be sweet if someone understood just how difficult this is?”

Notice what happens in your body as you...

With the way things have been going in our world, I’ve heard quite a few people talking about how long they have been alone. How long they have been in a sense of isolation and not having the liberty to engage with others as they used to be accustomed to. 

Their life has really changed, and some people feel scared. They are noticing that the longer they are alone, the more sensitive they feel when they do get to venture out. They have a high-tuned alert sensing into other people, worrying about social distancing, worrying about who is wearing a mask and who isn’t wearing a mask. 

They are worried about their own health and well-being, as well as the health and well-being of those they love. So, they might over-think things which creates a worrying cycle that creates more anxiety and stress, which creates more cortisol flooding their system. This is going to wear them out by creating a sense of exhaustion from the inside out. They have this hypervigilance for...

Sometimes I find myself falling back into really old patterns. Patterns that I thought I had let go and that I wasn’t ever going to use again. Sometimes what can happen, when I’ve noticed that I’m operating out of an old pattern, is I can just beat myself up with anger.  

It sounds something like, “Oh, you are so stupid! I can’t believe you are doing that again!” 

Then, inside I have this cringing with shame experience, “Oh my goodness, I can’t believe that! I’m so horrible.” 

And the, I can fall even lower in the spectrum of energies. Into self-loathing, “Eeew, yuck.” Some disgust can come up. 

Well, I’m really grateful that on my journey in this life, I’ve discovered that it’s possible to recognize these aspects of myself with compassion. In those moments I can acknowledge how it feels to be me. I can speak to myself, “Gloria, are you just feeling such...

What happens inside of us when we are self-critical? Where does that even begin? I’ve spent some time with this and for a couple of nights I would wake up around 2 or 3 and there would be this self-critical voice spinning around and around. The more it would spin, the more critical it would become.  

What would happen for me was a contraction, a kind of collapse inside of myself. As I woke up a little more, to actually pay attention in a new way, I recognized that this voice had a flavor to it. It was, “How could you?” So, there was shame in there, and as I sat with that, I could hear underneath that “How could you?” that there was deep grief inside of myself.  

This voice inside was listing all of the ways that I had failed as a mother. That’s really huge. My life’s dream when I was a little girl was to be a mother. So, it was rehashing all of those moments that I wanted...