I've been reflecting on those moments in my day when I slip into autopilot, becoming an unwitting passenger in my own life. It's left me wondering: how did I let myself become a spectator in my own story? How can I reclaim my presence, slow down, and truly regain control of my choices?

This phenomenon can be incredibly subtle. For instance, when I'm out feeding my horses, a wave of reminiscence can wash over me, and suddenly, I find myself lost in the "ever-present-past." In those moments, I'm no longer fully engaged; I'm merely going through the motions.

Just yesterday, as I chatted with my aunt on my headset while driving to visit my grandkids, I realized I had missed my turn-off entirely! It's become evident how frequently I slip into autopilot throughout the day. I've come to appreciate the beauty of being fully present and empowered, the ability to slow down my inner processes and truly observe my life and the choices it presents. To consciously direct where I channel my...

Do you feel suspicious when you receive kindness from others?

I've shared many times how, until even recently, my inner world was an unfriendly place. 

I would often go to a place of harsh, self-criticism, longing to get it "right" or be "enough". 

I've managed to shift my inner critical voice into one of warmth and safety over time, using resonant language, understanding how the nervous system works and rediscovering my joy. 

Many of us did not receive accurate reflections of our emotional experiences as little ones, and so did not receive the understanding that what was happening in us made sense.

It can be very difficult for humans to access self-esteem and self-compassion when what we are experiencing does not make sense to us. 

In fact, it is so distressing to be in this place of not making sense to ourselves that we can become cut off from accessing self-warmth and enter a place of intense self-dislike, even self-loathing. 

Other times, some of us...

Having disagreements with other people can be really painful, and there are many different ways it can go. Maybe it’s a surprise that there is a disagreement, but you feel really strong about the situation or circumstance and someone you care about feels different that you do. 

Or, maybe what’s happened is you didn’t reach out to someone, it hurt their feelings, and now they are upset with you. Maybe they give you the cold shoulder. Maybe they are fiery hot angry, and they get in your face. What’s that like for you? How do you mend that type of a rupture in relationship when you care about somebody?

Sometimes these experiences can feel so raw to us that we drop the relationship. We might feel like, “I’m done with that. I’m not putting up with that energy ever again.” That can give us a clue that we have somewhere in our past made a contract that we would never do that again. Because, words like never, always, and forever, let us...

I bet you have been noticing there are a lot of changes that are happening. For many of us this can feel very alarming and scary. Maybe you walked into the grocery store and everything was gone. There was no meat, there were no noodles, all the soups were gone, and it was scary because it’s not predictable. It’s not every day you walk into the store and most everything is gone. This signals an alarm that alerts your whole self that danger is here. 

The other thing that can be scary is this danger is not something you can see with your eyes. It’s an invisible danger that floats around landing on things and you might unknowingly touch it – and that is scary. 

Then you start to notice, when you go out, there are not many people out and about. I had one client say that when they walked into town to go to work, because their business is an essential business to stay open, that it was like walking into a ghost town. There is an uneasiness that comes with...