Regret and Shame

Sep 04, 2020

Many of us started out on our path in life ill-equipped completely unaware of the problems in life we would encounter, let alone how to navigate them when they arose. We did the best we could with what we had and experienced it may very well have not been enough.

Now we might be stuck in the looping pattern of rehashing the past, recriminating ourselves with a barrage of what we SHOULD have done, but didn’t. So, we hang our heads in shame from the heaping mounds of evidence we hold against ourselves. Or, we feel resentment building in our hearts and get angry how unfair life has been becoming more and more cynical how impossible it is to have the power to have life be different.

We find ourselves living our life from the energies of anger, guilt, shame and depression, oscillating between these states feels impotent.

Personally, I started out my young adult life very ill-equipped. I was a very young wife and mother, at the age of 18. I remember my mom saying something about,...

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What Inspires You?

Jul 17, 2020

What is it that wakes you up in the morning that you are excited about and looking forward to experiencing in your life?

The flip of that is what knocks you off balance? What shifts your focus and you find you are no longer on track or feeling that sense of inspiration or resourcefulness.

Maybe you find that an old pattern comes up and life is more like a drudgery. It’s like, “Oh no, it’s a Monday again.” Maybe you notice that your health begins to deteriorate, and you have a lowered immune system and you catch the sniffles or a cough. Then you start hearing this negative chatter that circles around and around in your head and you start noticing everything that is off. It’s no fun and you get grumpy about it all. Then you get low energy, lethargic and a lack of motivation, and then it’s oh my gosh, how did I get here? Am I here again?!

Well, that’s been a repeating chapter in my life that I’m thankfully beginning to recognize sooner,...

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Feeling Tender-Hearted and Vulnerable

Apr 01, 2020

This week I’ve been spending time people who have felt really tender-hearted and vulnerable. They have been having experiences of noticing that they lose their focus, or they have a really foggy mind. At the same time, it feels really painful to be right where they are.

Sometimes they pick up a strategy to get really busy, in order to distract their mind from the pain. Because when we use our focusing attention network, it actually shuts off their default mode network. The part of us that is always rehashing our whole life and wanting us to be able to do more than survive. But we want to survive first. 

When we have had trauma in our life, our default mode network can become vicious. It’s doing it’s best to protect us from further harm. When we get really busy and we focus our attention intently, it seems as if the pain is numbed out.

What’s really happening inside is it’s like putting a big blanket over the top of the right hemisphere’s...

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