Is It Safe To Be Real in Community?

May 03, 2023

How do you grow your capacity to love yourself? Is it possible to allow yourself to truly be who you really are, rather than who you've been told you are supposed to be?

The following experience was written by a client as she took time to reflect on these very questions.


“As I reflect on my experiences being in Gloria's classes and receiving resonate empathy, many things come up for me.  When I first joined her tele-calls several years ago, speaking up or even answering a question triggered my body and mind into complete overwhelm.  Many times I would be curled up on the floor under a blanket praying that I would not be called on, not even having the resources to request that I just listen in.  (I didn't even know that just listening in was even an option.)  

I joined the class because it was recommended by my coach.  She felt that it would be a safe place for me to receive support in community with others.  Well, that was most...

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A Magic Room

Mar 03, 2023

When people experience trauma, their symptoms may last months or years, with triggers that can bring back memories of the trauma accompanied by intense emotional and physical reactions. Today I want to share with you how one of my clients experienced stepping into the constellation field with a horse.

Terrified of not mattering, being abandoned, and cast aside in her relationships, she came to Healing You Sanctuary to begin to heal her traumatic history. We went outside to the round pen and I asked her to build a magic room, a place she could go and feel safe. There were a variety of materials available in the round pen, and I had turned out Saphira, my mare, to provide female companionship.  Let me share her experience in her words. 

"Being asked to build a place to feel safe felt confusing. I put a chair and a stick and string in the round pen. I thought, "I really don't need anything to feel safe with Saphira." So I just stood, looking at all the other things and...

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Do You Love Yourself?

Dec 07, 2022

I worked with a young man one time, and it was tough. I remember hearing him cry out in despair, "I just want to kill myself!"   

When you hear those words, spoken in pain by someone you care for, how do you feel inside? Does your stomach clench and spasm? Or does a semi-paralysis claim your whole body and your breathing nearly stop? How do you hold space with love and support for someone when they are experiencing a primal response from the ever-present-past of trauma?   

We may not be aware of a past trauma holding us back in the moment when we are triggered, yet in attempting to protect us, our hypothalamus and triple warmer can lock us into outdated defensive strategies that rigidify our habit field.  

It is not possible for a person to think clearly when the blood has left the forebrain and moved into the limbs for fight or flight. Even though many people know the kinds of changes they want to make, they find themselves unable to make...

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When Trauma Takes Over

Jul 23, 2021

How do you talk to yourself? Do you notice how you talk to yourself? How about especially when you’ve made a mistake? What does it sound like, that voice inside of your head?  

Do you even like yourself? I’m wondering, are you self-critical? Or are you ever NOT self-critical? Do you constantly compare yourself to others? Or did your parents compare you to others? Did they constantly compare people? 

Our default mode network (DMN) is the part of us that is the voice in our heads. We all have one. When we’ve had experiences of trauma, then that trauma takes over our default mode network. It reruns all the memories. It really wants us to heal. It can get stuck though.  

When we are little, if we don’t make sense to our moms, then as a baby our system has to run on cortisol in order to survive. This can burn us out. When a baby is born its amygdala (emotional alarm system) is hard wired to create a state of alarm in order to get...

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Trauma Can Be Really Huge For Us

Apr 16, 2021
I want to acknowledge that trauma can be really huge for us. It’s connected to how we perceive our world as well as how we make meaning in our life. I had a session with a client earlier, and they shared how when they were getting off a call with someone, that they were in this state of feeling incapable of existing. It was as if there was a dark shroud surrounding them, enveloping them. They could sense something was awry and a deep sense of disappointment was within them, not feeling complete. Yet, at the same time there was an experience of feeling incapable of doing anything. Ever again. A sense that there was no going back to where they had been before. I’m imagining it was a kind of lostness.
So, slowing down and being able to hear the message that the trauma-self had received in this experience was I’m incapable. The importance of connection in that moment with me was to slow time down for them to actually feel felt in that moment. And, to...
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