Time With The Deepest Darkest Shadow

Jan 08, 2021
During this time in our world, there’s been a lot of opportunities to be in Solitude. Seeing it as being in solitude rather than in ‘lock-down’ – there’s a difference for me – even in the energetic quality of those words.
 
When I take time to be in solitude, I’m taking time to matter to myself, to be reflective of my life, and to be in choice in how I engage with myself, with others, and in our world. During this time, I’ve had opportunity to dig a little deeper into what makes me tick.
 
We can start to notice patterns of behavior, patterns of thought, and patterns of our knee-jerk reactions. So, I’ve had the opportunity to do quite a bit of that exploration, and for that I’m grateful. Because, as I continue this journey in life, I want to show up fully. I want to have the freedom to express who I am, regardless of the environment I find myself in.
 
So, I notice what quality was keeping me...
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Getting Comfortable with Pregnant Pauses

Jan 01, 2021
Have you ever gotten annoyed, irritated, or even indignant, when you are having a conversation with someone and they interrupt you and start to question what you are saying? It feels like they are questioning your judgment, and that they are not trusting you.
 
Maybe you feel a little worried, and you notice a pattern that starts to run inside of you where you start to tell yourself, “I’ve done so much to prove my trust! They should know who I am and recognize my intention.” Yet, you feel defensive and inadequate at the same time. Maybe you tell yourself, “I’m just a disappointment.”
 
The thing is, when we get indignant and start to defend ourselves, we are using the fuel of anger in a way that is self-sabotaging. When we take the time to be in our experience, it’s possible to experience something different.
 
When somebody starts to question your judgment, it’s possible to respond with, “Wow, I feel...
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What Feeds You?

Dec 25, 2020
Do you feel frustration and irritation with your work or your career? Does every new job that you’ve had tend to circle back around to the same place that you were just at in your career? Does it feel that you’ll never get any closer to living in the expression of what you really enjoy? Some type of work that would align with your values. Something that you’d really love, that you’ve been seeking, yet it feels just beyond your reach.
 
Maybe your experience is that you always get deferred, it doesn’t quite happen. A perpetual sense of lack or reaching yet just can’t quite grasp it. Almost there but not quite there. Maybe you start to feel a bit paralyzed, even helpless or hopeless that it’s going to even be possible to experience what you really want. What you would like, what you are able to do, maybe you are paralyzed in that it seems like the chance is there, and the opportunity is here, and you go to step up… and you...
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Is Life Not Working For You?

Dec 18, 2020
Some of us have had the experience when life doesn’t feel like it’s working, we either explode or collapse. We can have emotional outbursts, they just happen, they erupt. We have this anger that needs to be felt and expressed. What happens after this explosion is this felt sense of a neediness. We need to feel close to the person again, and if that doesn’t happen the way we anticipate it, then we can collapse in a puddle of tears.
 
This can look different for each of us, we are unique beings. Yet, there is this cascade of emotions that are like a roller coaster that we can go on, when life just doesn’t seem to be working.
 
What can happen when we are sitting in that collapsed state can be, “Dang, I don’t even know who I am any more, especially in relationship with this other being. I thought we were in this together!” This might be some of the things we say to ourselves.
 
Don’t give up. You know, on...
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Are You Supposed To Be Able To Do It All?

Dec 11, 2020
Have you ever had the thought that you are supposed to know how to be able to do it all? I know I have, and client I’ve worked with, they have too. One client recently came to me with the acknowledgment that at work they experienced so much pressure to do something, yet not being given the guidance or the instructions on how to go about the task. The pressure in that experience was building up inside that escalates into panic.
 
When we get activated like that it’s our sympathetic nervous system, the fight or flight, can kick in and we can get more easily triggered when that happens. We can become more reactive; take things personally, project onto others that they are being passive aggressive or predatorily aggressive towards us.
 
We can feel emotionally fragile and not dare to show that, especially at work. What we do is to stuff it down and put on a mask, acting as if everything is okay. Then, when we get alone, we can either rage, or scream, or...
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When Life Seems Impossible

Dec 04, 2020

Have you ever thought life seems impossible? Maybe you’ve been in a situation and you feel expected to conform to the world? To the pattern the world has laid out right in front of you. And, if just feels impossible. There are so many layers of impossibility that it staggers the mind.

When you slow down to be in your experience, does it feel like there is a watery abyss that is deep inside? I want to note that the element of water represents emotions. So, when things feel really impossible, it’s most likely, because we are not allowing ourselves to abide in whatever emotional flavor is happening for us in the moment.

When we can begin to slow down and notice our pattern; our thoughts that feel impossible. When we can be with that and feel what it’s like in our being; to be with that without judgement, but simply acknowledging what it feels like to be you. Right now. Breathe into that, breathe into your heart-space.

When we are empowered to do that it is possible...

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Awakening the Shadow

Nov 30, 2020
Have you ever found yourself thriving in your life, making progress and really enjoying what you do and how you show up in the world? You like being who you are. Maybe you come into a relationship with another person, or a group of others, and how you show up, it feels like you get stuck. It’s as if you are not being recognized for what you are bringing to the relationship.
 
What’s it like when you feel stuck? What’s it like for you when your intention is not seen? What’s it like for you when someone looks at you but doesn’t see your heart? It can be painful.
 
How do you be with that pain, with the problem of not being recognized for who you are? As you sit with that pain and allow yourself to tune in to the frequencies that are running deep inside, it’s possible you might begin to tap into a shadow. It may be a shadow that you weren’t even conscious it was running in you. You didn’t even know it was there.
...
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A Real Deal Breaker

Nov 20, 2020

Thinking back on my experience in life, I recognized a life lesson that I learned more recently that actually started way back when I was a younger girl. Let me start with a story. 

It started when I got to go for a sleep-over, it was a slumber party, those were all the rage when I was younger. My best-friend had a whole bunch of us over together and one of the things we got to do, was to go on a hike in the woods. It was a big group of girls and we were having so much fun, and I felt comfortable with who I was. 

As we were hiking, we were all excited, and I remember there was a new girl in school who had been invited too. We came upon a crossroad where we needed to decide to go one way or the other way. I recognize now, that I was a leader, because the girls all looked to me for which direction to go. 

I said, “Let’s go this way!” And, this other girl said, “No! We’re not going to go that way; we are going to go this way.” 

I...

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Balancing Celebration and Mourning

Nov 13, 2020

Today as I’ve been sitting with others, accompanying them on their journey, there was a light rain that came through. The air is much warmer, as spring is arriving here, and it smelled fresh outside. It feels like new life is ready to bloom. This new life preparing to bloom is happening for a lot of us as we have been experiencing life much different than it used to be. 

There is a sense of stabilizing. Many of us in positions of leadership have needed to work diligently in order to maintain our capacity to monitor our environment, and that of our team members and those that we are responsible for taking care of. As well as being more expansive reaching outside of our inner circle to be a resource for the extended communities in our world, creating places where there are safe zones. There are finally beginning to be places where we can trust it is safe. It’s just beginning. 

I want to acknowledge that for many of us, when we are younger, there is an inner...

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Experiencing A Loss of Freedom?

Nov 06, 2020

What’s it been like for you  with all the changes taking place in our world? Some of us are experiencing a loss of our sense of freedom. Others, even though there are restrictions placed upon them, they live in a place that allows them to experience more freedom of movement. 

Maybe you have new learning curves because you need to work from home, if you still have a job. If you don’t have a job, then you are learning how to be at home without your normal routine. There are new learning curves for all of us in many different ways. 

Maybe you are finding that there is not enough support when you need it. It could be as simple as something went wrong with your computer and you’re at home without an IT person to help you, and you have to sort it out on your own. Or maybe you have a partner at work who got scared, locked themselves down at home and refuse to help at all, out of fear. 

Maybe it feels like there is a lot of weight on your shoulders...

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