Have you ever found yourself in the position of needing to get some support? Simply needing some help. Maybe you fell and were injured and later you recognized that you were hurt more than you realized. You can feel vulnerable, especially depending on what your life experience has been, feeling vulnerable may not feel safe. 

Maybe you’ve had to work out life on your own. As a kid you had to learn the hard way, by yourself, because there wasn’t anyone to ask. Maybe when you asked you were shut down, or shamed. Some of us have had the experience that when we ask for help, or guidance, we get dismissed or scolded. Told that we should have been listening. Or, we should have done what someone else told us to do. If we made a mistake and ask for help, we are belittled or put down. Through that experience we learn, ‘Don’t ask, just figure it out, somehow, on your own.’ 

Another experience we could have in light of that is believing that something is...

Today I’ve been reflecting on secure attachment. Some of you may be aware of that term and others may be wondering what I’m talking about. 

There are different types of attachment styles that we can develop as a human being in relationships with others. We can have secure attachment where we have had the experience, according to researcher Ed Tronick, a pioneer in the field of developmental psychology, who’s work shows that if we had attunement with our main caregiver at least 30% of the time, then we would develop secure attachment. 

I want to recognize how important it is that we experience what is known as attunement, and what that looks like. If we didn’t experience that in relationships with others then we could possibly develop what’s known as avoidant attachment, or ambivalent attachment, or some of us develop disorganized attachment. But for the purpose of this video, we will focus on secure attachment. Because regardless of what type...

Today I’ve been wondering, what light were you born to shine in our world? More importantly, what is keep you small? 

Recently I had the experience of getting to spend time with a very powerful person. Powerful in the sense that their light is just so evident to me. Destined to be an astonishing leader in our world. Someone that has grace, potential, humility and wisdom, all rolled up in one. Do you know what I’ve noticed? We all have that potential, in our own way.

Unfortunately, for some of us, we experienced that we are too harsh, or too much, when we are open in our expression. It may be that because we have expressed, the way we perceive other’s reactions to us, creates anxiety inside of us. It’s scary. 

We get worried that maybe we are seen as too bossy, or we are too arrogant, we are just a ‘big know it all’, we have a really big head. Who do we think we are anyway! Maybe we are too focused on the information on the information we...

It has been a really full week for me, yet at the same time, the week has just begun. So, I took some time to reflect on what is it that is causing me to have the experience that it’s so full? 

Well, what I’ve com to decide, is it’s because there have been so many moments of holding that sacred space for tender hearts. When that is the kind of space that I’m holding, it’s important for me to be able to call a pause and take time to be with what is. I do this in order to process all of the transformational changes that happen for many others, and for myself. 

A couple of the experiences that have really touched me this week is working with others who their whole life experience has felt like a big struggle to ever feel like they belong or that they fit in. In fact, they are pretty convinced that they don’t. That’s their life experience. This is compounded by an incomprehension or inability to know how to actually engage with other...

There has been a lot of talk about the pandemic here, and there is a lot of anxiety that is coursing through our world. It’s really pervasive. Everything is closing down, everything is changing, and patterns aren’t the same. That fear that can be sparked, can be contagious. People getting worried about catching it. Whether it is catching the virus or catching the fear, it’s about getting caught and having no way out. This increases so much more stress in our body’s system and that reduces our immune system. 

I also want to acknowledge that I have witnessed so many beautiful posts, emails, so many hearts are opening up and there is a deeper self-connection happening. As we are able to connection in this way, from our hearts, we are inspired to reach out to others. To reach out a helping hand in any way that we are empowered to. 

We are learning that it is possible to, even now, slow down and enjoy life. Maybe connecting with the arts; painting,...

This week I’ve been spending time people who have felt really tender-hearted and vulnerable. They have been having experiences of noticing that they lose their focus, or they have a really foggy mind. At the same time, it feels really painful to be right where they are.

Sometimes they pick up a strategy to get really busy, in order to distract their mind from the pain. Because when we use our focusing attention network, it actually shuts off their default mode network. The part of us that is always rehashing our whole life and wanting us to be able to do more than survive. But we want to survive first. 

When we have had trauma in our life, our default mode network can become vicious. It’s doing it’s best to protect us from further harm. When we get really busy and we focus our attention intently, it seems as if the pain is numbed out.

What’s really happening inside is it’s like putting a big blanket over the top of the right hemisphere’s...

Have you ever felt scared of the unknown? You know, feeling frightened and uncertain, not knowing what to do, or how to do it. The worst part can be feeling so all alone while believing there is nowhere to turn for support. How can we find our way back to heart-centered relationships, beginning with ourselves?

This experience of awakening, is captured beautifully in the guest blog below, by Ruth Crea…

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I finished parking the ATV, after mucking for several hours, and peered over at the horses to see who might want to engage for some quality time together in the corrals. My horse Lacey was standing at the far end of her corral and our eyes met briefly. Next, I wondered where the minis were and I then gazed over at the other corral and noticed Finn standing with Shara lying down beside him. I gazed back at Lacey, and then at Finn, and I just felt drawn to enter Finn's corral. As I entered through the fence, and started walking to the center, Finn immediately came...

I’ve been thinking about how stress can affect us, and what happens when stress just gets in your face. Well, the other day, I had a stress reaction. I was having a conversation with somebody, they got really angry and had the look of disgust on their face. I had such a huge visceral reaction. I was shocked, I got angry, and I got afraid also. Then my mind goes a little bit blank because I’m flipping my lid. I get really afraid I’m going to say something wrong and make everything worse. Then, maybe I’ll get rejected and I lose my voice! I start to become less than inside of myself and it feels like there’s absolutely nowhere to turn for support.

That’s really a painful place to be! There are a lot of things that happen within us, especially when we are faced with the look of disgust from another person. It actually lowers our immune system.

On this journey of my life, I have found that there are places that can support me, which have helped to...

I’ve taken the time to get present with the truth that there are many of us on this life journey who have had the experience of not really knowing who we are. The experience of not knowing what to do in our life, or how to be in life.

We find ourselves going through the motions, like a robot on auto-pilot, driven by the shouldn’t and the ought’s and have-to’s of our life. What we have been conditioned to believe we should do, or we ought to do, or told we have to do, and that drives our behavior.

I remember in my life, there is more than once that I found myself in this place. I remember meeting another person who was talking about the value of awakening, and a rebirth of their whole felt-sense of self. I was like, “What are you talking about?” I didn’t get it. How is that possible? I just had so much doubt that there was actual value to what this other person was saying.

Then, I had a lot of shame around my doubt and about my emotions, not...

I’ve been reflecting back on this last week working with several different clients, and I noticed that there was a theme, or a recurring experience that these clients were having. On one hand it was really exciting, and on the other hand there was the pain that comes with it. What’s exciting is that on this healing journey, you can notice that you no longer hide in unconsciousness because you’ve awakened. You have discovered parts of yourself that you didn’t know you would. Once you’ve awakened, there is no going back, because you are awake!

So, what’s the problem with that? Maybe you don’t have a language for this new experience or know how to show up in this new world in this new way. When you reach out for connection with others, you might make yourself wrong and tell yourself, “I’m just not listening good enough.” I’m not a good listener. You do the best you can, yet you feel disjointed when we are making those...