Holding Tender Hearts

Apr 08, 2020

It has been a really full week for me, yet at the same time, the week has just begun. So, I took some time to reflect on what is it that is causing me to have the experience that it’s so full? 

Well, what I’ve com to decide, is it’s because there have been so many moments of holding that sacred space for tender hearts. When that is the kind of space that I’m holding, it’s important for me to be able to call a pause and take time to be with what is. I do this in order to process all of the transformational changes that happen for many others, and for myself. 

A couple of the experiences that have really touched me this week is working with others who their whole life experience has felt like a big struggle to ever feel like they belong or that they fit in. In fact, they are pretty convinced that they don’t. That’s their life experience. This is compounded by an incomprehension or inability to know how to actually engage with other...

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When Fear Gets Contagious

Apr 03, 2020

There has been a lot of talk about the pandemic here, and there is a lot of anxiety that is coursing through our world. It’s really pervasive. Everything is closing down, everything is changing, and patterns aren’t the same. That fear that can be sparked, can be contagious. People getting worried about catching it. Whether it is catching the virus or catching the fear, it’s about getting caught and having no way out. This increases so much more stress in our body’s system and that reduces our immune system. 

I also want to acknowledge that I have witnessed so many beautiful posts, emails, so many hearts are opening up and there is a deeper self-connection happening. As we are able to connection in this way, from our hearts, we are inspired to reach out to others. To reach out a helping hand in any way that we are empowered to. 

We are learning that it is possible to, even now, slow down and enjoy life. Maybe connecting with the arts; painting,...

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Feeling Tender-Hearted and Vulnerable

Apr 01, 2020

This week I’ve been spending time people who have felt really tender-hearted and vulnerable. They have been having experiences of noticing that they lose their focus, or they have a really foggy mind. At the same time, it feels really painful to be right where they are.

Sometimes they pick up a strategy to get really busy, in order to distract their mind from the pain. Because when we use our focusing attention network, it actually shuts off their default mode network. The part of us that is always rehashing our whole life and wanting us to be able to do more than survive. But we want to survive first. 

When we have had trauma in our life, our default mode network can become vicious. It’s doing it’s best to protect us from further harm. When we get really busy and we focus our attention intently, it seems as if the pain is numbed out.

What’s really happening inside is it’s like putting a big blanket over the top of the right hemisphere’s...

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Fear and Leadership: Reflections from Horses

Mar 30, 2020

Have you ever felt scared of the unknown? You know, feeling frightened and uncertain, not knowing what to do, or how to do it. The worst part can be feeling so all alone while believing there is nowhere to turn for support. How can we find our way back to heart-centered relationships, beginning with ourselves?

This experience of awakening, is captured beautifully in the guest blog below, by Ruth Crea…

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I finished parking the ATV, after mucking for several hours, and peered over at the horses to see who might want to engage for some quality time together in the corrals. My horse Lacey was standing at the far end of her corral and our eyes met briefly. Next, I wondered where the minis were and I then gazed over at the other corral and noticed Finn standing with Shara lying down beside him. I gazed back at Lacey, and then at Finn, and I just felt drawn to enter Finn's corral. As I entered through the fence, and started walking to the center, Finn immediately came...

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How Stress Can Affect Us

Mar 27, 2020

I’ve been thinking about how stress can affect us, and what happens when stress just gets in your face. Well, the other day, I had a stress reaction. I was having a conversation with somebody, they got really angry and had the look of disgust on their face. I had such a huge visceral reaction. I was shocked, I got angry, and I got afraid also. Then my mind goes a little bit blank because I’m flipping my lid. I get really afraid I’m going to say something wrong and make everything worse. Then, maybe I’ll get rejected and I lose my voice! I start to become less than inside of myself and it feels like there’s absolutely nowhere to turn for support.

That’s really a painful place to be! There are a lot of things that happen within us, especially when we are faced with the look of disgust from another person. It actually lowers our immune system.

On this journey of my life, I have found that there are places that can support me, which have helped to...

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Do You Know Who You Are?

Mar 20, 2020

I’ve taken the time to get present with the truth that there are many of us on this life journey who have had the experience of not really knowing who we are. The experience of not knowing what to do in our life, or how to be in life.

We find ourselves going through the motions, like a robot on auto-pilot, driven by the shouldn’t and the ought’s and have-to’s of our life. What we have been conditioned to believe we should do, or we ought to do, or told we have to do, and that drives our behavior.

I remember in my life, there is more than once that I found myself in this place. I remember meeting another person who was talking about the value of awakening, and a rebirth of their whole felt-sense of self. I was like, “What are you talking about?” I didn’t get it. How is that possible? I just had so much doubt that there was actual value to what this other person was saying.

Then, I had a lot of shame around my doubt and about my emotions, not...

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Can't Hide Any Longer

Mar 13, 2020

I’ve been reflecting back on this last week working with several different clients, and I noticed that there was a theme, or a recurring experience that these clients were having. On one hand it was really exciting, and on the other hand there was the pain that comes with it. What’s exciting is that on this healing journey, you can notice that you no longer hide in unconsciousness because you’ve awakened. You have discovered parts of yourself that you didn’t know you would. Once you’ve awakened, there is no going back, because you are awake!

So, what’s the problem with that? Maybe you don’t have a language for this new experience or know how to show up in this new world in this new way. When you reach out for connection with others, you might make yourself wrong and tell yourself, “I’m just not listening good enough.” I’m not a good listener. You do the best you can, yet you feel disjointed when we are making those...

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Exploring Hypersensitivity - Guest Blog by Rylan Lybecker

Mar 06, 2020

What is it like to be hypersensitive?  I would like to first explain what being hypersensitive means.  It is being able to notice what is happening in one’s own body and self in which others are unable to pick up on.  This includes professionals including coaches and therapists who are trained and supposed to know how to pick up on these things.

Someone who experiences hypersensitivity can sense everything that they are experiencing both internally and externally.  This is because they “process all forms of stimulation deeply due to a biological difference in their nervous systems; this includes what they see, touch, taste think, and experience” (Granneman). These experiences are hidden deep inside and others cannot see them as easily.  They are aware of all that is in their environment including family members, pets, sounds, smells, and touch. 

When one can watch certain shows or movies, it allows for the mind to experience having a...

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Dedicated to All the Professionals Helping Others

Mar 02, 2020

Today’s post is especially dedicated to all of you folks out there who support others. You might be a therapist, a doctor, a psychotherapist or a coach working in health and wellness. Sometimes, when we are about this work, we can feel exhaustion. We keep doing our best to power through to make a difference, because our work in the world really does matter, to so many lives.

Yet, what can happen when we are powering through, we can end up lacking healthy boundaries, taking on more than we need to or that is good for us. We may find it difficult to be able to say “No” when somebody asks for support or help, even though we have already put in our shift or have a full schedule. If we continue down that path, then some of us may start to get frazzled and not be able to track so well and communicate with a lack of clarity. We can fall down into this place that has no motivation at all and we feel so tired. This can happen in many different ways.

Let me share one of my...

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Scared of the Unknown

Feb 19, 2020

Have you ever been scared of the unknown? You know, feeling frightened and uncertain, not knowing what to do, or how to do it. Or even what “it” is. To be knocked off your center, and you can feel it in your bones. This fear that is just lurking there and then nothing feels safe.

For me, part of the worst of it is feels so all alone in the midst of it. With nowhere to turn for support, or it seems there is nowhere to turn for support.

I remember as a child when I would experience this, I would be scared what might be under my bed. Or, did you have any idea what might be in your closet in the middle of the night? And it’s dark when you have to get up to go to the bathroom. The hallway seemed so long, and cold, and lonely.

Sometimes those types of childhood fears can stay with us in our bones, in the shadows of our lives. Unless we have been blessed enough, or fortunate enough, or by chance we met another being that understood us. Someone that got us, and we could...

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